Just to Be: Sleepless
by Amarti
Summary: Severus learns that it's usually wise to call before coming to visit. Deleted scene set between Chapters 6 and 7 of "Just to Be."


_I confess, this not a story its own right. This is a deleted scene from JTB that originally took place toward the end of Chapter 6. Actually, it was part of another chapter between 6 and 7 in the completed story. The chapter itself didn't work, was repetitive, and lay the foundation for a subplot I eventually decided to abandon, so I deleted it, which I think was the right call. Having said that, I've always mourned the loss of this scene. I tried to work it in to the existing chapter 6, but it really didn't work tone-wise or plot-wise, and there was no other place I could put it, so in the end I left it out completely. It occurred to me recently I could just publish it, so voila. Consider this an Easter Egg or a DVD extra ;)_

_If you haven't read JTB, this will make absolutely no sense to you._

_The context for this scene: In the completed JTB, Severus visits Grimmauld Place once to get the layout. In the original draft of the story, he come back a second time. The first time he visited, he just looked at Grimmauld, and then he came back (unannounced) on a second trip to make a more detailed plan for how he would use the house. The night he visits, Hermione is hanging out at Grimmauld, and Harry and Ginny, who have just become parents, are taking advantage of Hermione's visit to get a few minutes of sleep._

_Anyone who knows JTB really well (or read it recently) may notice that some of the original language from this scene eventually made it into the final product, but I slashed 99% of this scene and merged it with Severus's first visit to Grimmauld. _

_Just a dumb little scene that really doesn't add much, and was pure indulgence, but like I said, I've always kind of missed it._

_FYI for my non-Anglo readers: "Pants," in British English, is a synonym for "underwear."_

_**Disclaimer:** I didn't own any of them in JTB, and I certainly don't here._

* * *

Moving house was apparently more difficult and time-consuming than Harry and Ginny had realised. They had finally found a new place to live that offered space, comfort, and, above all, privacy. It was all ready for them.

Then James Sirius Potter decided to come a bit early. Moving would be put on hold until he was a little bit older and Harry and Ginny had begun to sleep again.

Everyone might have expected Molly to mother them all after the birth, but as had been the case with her other grandchildren, it was simply too much for her to do anything but make one short visit before leaving. Fred's death, Bill's injury, the way that all her children had been injured physically and psychologically by the war… it had finally broken her.

Hermione tried to make up for it. She was no Molly Weasley when it came to cooking, but it was better than anything Harry and Ginny could manage. She also did some of the washing and spent time with the baby so his new parents could get some sleep. Hermione was not exactly maternal, but she and James seemed to get along just fine with one another.

He had just dozed off in her arms, and his parents sound asleep upstairs, when the knock on the door came. They had enchanted the door so that knocks were silenced and instead the lights would flicker on and off to alert them of a guest. Hermione took a breath, set down the baby in the downstairs cot, and went to the door. James's birth had been front-page news, and if a reporter had somehow found his way here…

"Severus," she said with surprise as she opened the door.

"Granger."

"Hermione."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

"No, not at all," she spoke in a whisper. "But you'll have to be quiet, the baby just fell asleep."

"Baby… oh, Potter's offspring? I should go."

"Nonsense. Just speak low like you always do and you'll be fine."

"I had not realised that you had become a nursemaid."

"I'm not. Harry and Ginny have been parents for less than a week, they are getting no sleep, and I want to help them."

"I had thought Molly Weasley would have descended upon this house and subject all of its occupants to her smothering, coddling ways."

"Pre-war Molly might have…"Hermione said sadly. Snape got the hint and said no more. "Anyway, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping to map out the house and determine who would go where, but clearly I have arrived at a bad time so I will take my leave."

"Don't be ridiculous. We agreed a long time ago to work around your schedule. James wasn't party to that agreement, but he'll learn."

"James?"

"Harry's son."

"Another James Potter. Merlin help us."

"Oh, be nice. He can't help it."

"Heaven help me, I will have to deal with another lazy, arrogant Potter."

"Severus Snape, are you really standing here and telling me that you can truly judge a person based on who their father was?" Hermione was suddenly angry. How could this man, of all people, of _all_ people, believe that was appropriate? "Isn't that the sort of stupid, backward, destructive thinking that I, you, _and_ Harry are all working against? You're a better man than that."

Snape's nostrils flared, and for a moment his eyes burned with anger. Hermoine glared back, challengingly. Daring him to tell her that it wasn't true. Silently, he seemed to concede by blinking and looking away.

"If you don't mind skipping the master bedroom, I will be happy to walk around with you and help you sort this," she offered, not wanting any further argument.

"A second pair of eyes might be helpful," he said quietly and evenly. He still did not meet her eyes.

"Brilliant. Let me just put James up with his parents."

"Will they take kindly to me being here?" Snape asked as she lifted a small bundle out of the cot and made for the stairs.

Hermione shrugged. "It's your house now."

* * *

They walked quietly through the house. The first floor held the master bedroom (where Harry and Ginny were presently sleeping) that Severus would eventually take. Hermione's room was also on the first floor, along with the bathroom. She had offered to move to another room in case some of the orphans needed closer supervision, and he had shaken his head, simply saying that it was not necessary. The second floor had four bedrooms and a bathroom, where the Travers, Rosier, and Lestrange siblings would go as well as Nott and Antioch Carrow in one room. The third floor, which had three bedrooms, including the largest one, would hold the three Rowles, Ariadne Carrow and Margaret Macnair in another room, and Dolohov and Avey in another room. He decided to withhold judgment on the best use for the attic. Since the space was not immediately needed, he though it might be better to see what needs might present themselves after the move.

As they quietly made their way downstairs, they encountered a very sleepy Potter holding a very sleepy baby on the landing. His hair stuck out in even more directions than normal, his expression more vacant than usual, and his glasses were crooked.

In his underwear. _Just_ his underwear. Pants so short he could call them knickers. _Merlin_.

"Severus! Blimey, hey, hi," Potter mumbled incoherently. _Typical_. "Didn't know you'd be here—glad Hermione was here to show you around. Meet little James, will you?" He held the baby out to Severus.

Severus stared down at the child. Black hair. Messy black hair. Definitely another Potter. He was already snaking his lips into a sneer when he saw Granger giving him a look of warning out of the corner of his eye. Remembering her words from earlier, he relented and instead put a look of polite indifference on his face. What she had said had hit home. He hated to admit it, but she was right—most of the problems the Wizarding world had faced both now and in the past (pureblood supremacy, both wars, the current situation) involved wizards judging other wizards for their parentage, for imputing the sins of the father onto the son. He had never thought that was what he was doing to Potter all these years, and Granger was definitely sticking her nose into what she did not fully understand, but perhaps he did not have to work _quite_ so hard to hate Potter. Perhaps.

In truth he rather wanted to believe that part of his life was over. Not that he really did.

"My congratulations," he said softly, raising his hand to touch the child's head then moving it back. One step at a time, after all.

Potter shook his head. "No, no, you've got to hold him." He held the child out insistently. "I don't offer my kid to just anyone. You're special."

Granger stifled a giggle, and Severus determined it was time to take his leave.

Without saying another word, he left them both and headed for the ground floor with the intent of letting himself out. He heard Granger whisper something to Potter and then her swift, soft feet follow him down the stairs.

"Harry apologises for his appearance—sleep deprivation and he didn't know you'd be here," Granger said.

"He need not apologise. I intruded. I have learned to at least floo before coming over next time."

She waved him off. "Not at all."

They stood in silence for a few moments. Finally, Severus shook his head and said, "Did Potter really just stumble out of bed in his pants and offer me his son to hold?"

Granger chuckled. "It's all a bit surreal, isn't it?"

Severus met her eyes. "Indeed it is. Good night, Granger."

"Hermione."

"Good night, Hermione."

He could feel her eyes on him until he apparated away.

* * *

Harry made his way downstairs later in a dressing gown. Everyone had warned him that a new baby would exhaust him, but this was ridiculous. He found Hermione still standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, gazing outside.

"Did I just stumble out into the corridor wearing nothing but my pants and offer Snape my new baby to hold?" Harry asked sleepily, running his hand through his hair.

Hermione shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Oh, thank God. Was he even here?" Harry asked through a yawn.

"Just left. He wanted to work out some moving arrangements," Hermione said.

"Hmmm," Harry said sleepily.

"He really does care about those children," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I don't think he sees it as just an obligation. It's almost…parental."

"Hmmm," Harry replied, leaning against the other side of the doorway. He would rest his eyes for just a few seconds...

"It's like he's a new person now—more approachable, more… _human_." Hermione mused. "Do suppose it's the war, everything that happened? Maybe giving you those memories unburdened him a little, allowed him to move on. Or maybe it's just not being a spy for two sides, he has just let go of that bitterness and stress and now can just be himself and this is what he would have been like had Voldemort never entered the picture. Or, or maybe it's some joy de vivre, he's so happy to be alive that he's decided to do something good with it… Harry are you even listening to me?"

"You're right," Harry said, waking up with a start at the sound of his name. He hadn't heard a word of her monologue.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Go to bed, Daddy. You need your sleep."

"Fair play," he said, scratching his hair and stifling another yawn. "You staying tonight?"

"Think I'll head home. Crookshanks is getting jealous of all the attention I'm giving James, I think, and we can't have that."

"Certainly can't. Good night, love."

"Good night."

* * *

_Oh, yeah, also once upon a time Crookshanks was going to be in JTB, then I decided to leave him out altogether. Can't remember why, now; I think I had too many characters to keep track of and something had to give. I think. It's been over a year since I cut this scene from the story. I also don't think I had much of a plan for him, so there wouldn't have been a point to put him in the story except for its own sake._

_I really liked the idea of New Dad!Harry being completely sleep-deprived and trying to befriend Severus when his guard was down. I hope it tickled you as much as it tickled me._


End file.
